Those with girlfriends that are driving you insane, take a moment to look at things from their point of view. You may be surprised at how reasonable their responses are, you may be pissed off that you’ve wasted x amount of time on an irrational attention seeker, or you may remain completely confused!
Whatever the outcome, you will be in a better position to assess your relationship. As far as I can tell, there are 3 indispensable keys to a successful relationship: honesty, communication and respect.
Yes, I know you know this already but honesty is the foundation to any relationship and it would be irresponsible for me not to say it. If you can’t trust your partner, GET OUT NOW!!! If your partner doesn’t trust you, GET OUT NOW!!!
The first thing you need to be honest about is who you are and what you want in a relationship. If you don’t know what you want then just say so! Your partner needs to know where you stand. That being said, don’t be brutally honest (trust me, it just gets you into trouble).
Tell the truth but don’t be too blunt (that does not mean lie!), if you can only be brutally honest or lie, then just tell the truth. It’s much better to be in deep shit for something you’ve actually done than for something that didn’t even happen.
This is another thing you already know but just love to ignore – Communication! This is an indispensable part of any relationship and if you don’t lay down adequate communication lines you’re going to persistently piss your partner off!
Of course, a few fights are entertaining and some fights open up communication paths, but frequent fights are fatal to your relationship and if that’s what you want, end it with one fight – it saves so much time and energy! There are really only 2 things you need to do: listen and respond.
a) Listen and Speak to her!
This is one of my greatest down falls. Sometimes I just tune out when people are talking to me and it really pisses my girlfriend off! (What, I can’t be interested ALL the time!) Sometimes your partner will have really important things to say to you and if you’re not paying attention you will probably be single by the end of the week.
For those who are more observant than me, most of the time you will know when she wants to say something to you, try to make sure that she only has to say it once! If you don’t understand what she’s trying to say, ask her to explain it again.
If you think her complaints are petty, immature or even insane – TELL HER! Relationships are a two way street and if her complaints or demands are unreasonable she needs to know what you’re thinking! If you can’t agree with what’s reasonable, end the relationship.
b) Respond to what she says
If you understand why she is making particular requests or complaints respond to them, change whatever it is that you are doing and if she’s annoying you, ask her to do the same. But don’t become a door mat, there are some complaints which are just so extreme that the best thing to do is to tell her to fuck off (in a nicer way of course)!
For the reasonable complaints, try to be considerate – both of you have your own lives and sometimes compromises need to be made. Despite what some delusional possessive people may think, you can spend time together and maintain your own social life. If your partner can’t understand that, get rid of them because the more you give into them, the worse it will get.
Without a doubt, the most important keys to any successful relationship is respect – if you respect your partner, chances are everything else you need for a decent relationship will follow. This does not mean always doing what they want you to do!
Have enough respect for your partner to challenge their views and expectations when you don’t agree with them. You don’t have to hold the same opinions on everything and there’s no point in pretending that you do.
Keep your relationship alive by challenging each other, explore their views and you will constantly be surprised by what you discover about them and yourself! (Just don’t get carried away!)
I hope these tips help you with your current and future relationships. Most of us know all of these things, but we are simply too stupid or masochistic to follow them. When you do fuck up, use those communication lines and have enough respect for your partner to be honest with them.
We all make mistakes and will punished for them, the only thing you can do is make sure that you learn from them. Good Luck and if nothing else, remember to enjoy yourself!